Tiger Woods: a Mommy’s Boy?


Nothing kills the sex-talk faster than a hug between a mother and a son after a religious discussion.
Tiger’s apology statement was one of the weirdest things I’ve seen in a long time and probably the most un-sexiest.

It appeared as Tiger Woods’s mother told him: “Go there, you little rascal, and say you are sorry. And write 100 times “I will not cheat again and I will obey my religion”. It was so infantile that I guess every woman out there watching would be thinking – did Tiger get out of puberty?

The word sex was notably absent. The speech writer masterfully danced around it. There is nothing that makes the sex more distant from the present than a hug from a mom – ask every daughter-in-law.

I have to admit that I personally don’t care about golf so watched the show just to observe a celebrity with moral shortcomings trying to come back in the game. The whole set-up reminded me of a Mark Twain novel – you could almost hear the Sunday school voice:

… I want you all to sit up just as straight and pretty as you can and give me all your attention for a minute or two. There –that is it. That is the way good little boys and girls should do….

The only difference is that some of the attendees were Buddhist.

I am sure Tiger is embarrassed; everybody whose condom habits are discussed on national TV would be. The whole “wall of shame” set-up was kind of creepy though. It lacked action. A flying tomato would have made a nice twist in the scenario. But that would probably bring passion into the picture and the idea of the gathering was to be as far away from passion as possible.

I guess Mr. Woods wants his career back. I am not sure that the “mommy’s boy” gig will sell as much athletic gear as the “sexy golfer” but at least it will give him another chance. The Americans will probably agree to lend him one and Tiger’s golf blues will be over by the end of the year.

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